High Performing Business – Discernment – From Hatred to Peace
Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT
It is darn near impossible to make good decisions when hatred is triggered and your limbic ( “fight or flight”) brain is engaged. The ancillary feelings of disdain, disgust, and disappointment also activate the limbiic brain. In the Happiness Project class, Cheetah students learn how to temper what triggers them so they can take more time to deliberate on decisions with their executive functioning brain rather than reacting from their more impulsive limbic brain. This helps improve the way we can process information coming in and discern the appropriate level of attention required.
When you get triggered into a sense of hatred, your body responds with a flood of stress hormones that over time increases anxiety and can activate a chemical depression. Hatred hurts the one doing the hating most. Learning how to shift into a more empowered state is critical for overall well being – and to improve the ability to discern the impact of our choices.
Stimulated by my own increasing complaints a month or so ago regarding the election, I made a commitment to limit complaints to less than 12 per day – 3 for the election, 3 relating to my relationships; 3 regarding my business, and 3 relating to a house project. For any complaint I required myself to develop three possible solutions. My complaints went way down and I found myself being less and less triggered by information relating to the election.
What though to do about someone else’s hatred – especially when something you have done or shared, or even who you are, triggers another’s ire? Other people’s triggers have nothing to do with you. Some people call this “pushing their buttons.” But the reality is you were most probably not around when those buttons got installed. For example, I grew up with three older brothers so I have some strong triggers around any behavior I perceive as bullying. The person who is exhibiting behaviors I perceive as bullying has absolutely nothing to do with my triggers. The key to handling another’s anger is to keep yourself calm, and centered – not owning or excusing their behavior and avoiding responding in kind. By all means get yourself to a safe place if you feel their hatred may turn violent. But do yourself a favor and with hold any need for an immediate response. Think about it – why would you want to disable your brain by going to where they are?
In the Cheetah Mastermind class, Cheetah students learn a technique we call “conversational aikido.” Cheetah students learn how to counter other people’s toxic triggered responses. They learn how to connect with kindness and compassion rather than correcting with their own triggered hateful response. Learning how to disarm hostility – especially when it is directed at you, can make your life significantly more peaceful. Practicing this technique in day to day exchanges can improve your brain, reduce being triggered, and improve discernment to make consistently better choices – especially regarding with whom you choose to associate.